13 Forever Young

This essay was composed in November 2024 and uses MLA documentation.

---

Even at a very young age, marked by swinging pigtails and friendship bracelets, I knew there was something special about being a girl. From my sister to mother to grandmother to great-grandmother, I sensed magic in their existence. I witnessed it in the way they held themselves, never shrinking when talking, owning each room they entered. I felt it in their talents and intelligence, the best at what they did and knowing it too. And I experienced it for myself in the way they loved, arms open to heal all wounds, creating beauty in everything they touched.

So, as I age and they age and we all start to get a bit older, I wonder if I will look like them, some day. If I will have the same wrinkles on my hands and lines like parentheses besides my mouth. If my freckles will become permanent and the crinkles around my eyes etched as if in stone, evidence of the life I will have lived right there on my skin. I hope so.

And more than that, I hope they view themselves as I view them: strong and beautiful and wise beyond words, their age and long lives a thing to be in awe of. Unfortunately, this may not be the case.

Now more than ever, the world urges women to fear getting older. “Anti-aging” rhetoric—which frames growing older in a negative light—permeates popular culture through marketing and social media, setting an unrealistic expectation on women to remain forever young and instructing them to fight against their very biology. By framing aging in a negative way, society places excessive pressure on women—especially in contrast to that placed on men—to age in a certain way. Women are conditioned to focus on the skin-deep rather than the underlying biological processes that cause changes in appearance. The anti-aging industrial complex cares not for the welfare of women, instead acting as a tool for patriarchy. Contrary to common rhetoric, aging is a natural and beautiful part of a woman’s life, not something to be avoided.

Avoidance of aging is not a new phenomenon. Women in particular, it seems, have focused much energy on staying young to the eye throughout history and across cultures. Cleopatra, the queen of beauty and charm herself, bathed in donkey milk to keep her skin looking young (Zahra). Women in the Elizabethan era covered their faces in raw meat to minimize their wrinkles (“Elizabeth I”). The ladies of the 1700s French court dabbed aged wine onto their blemishes and blotches to soften their complexions (Kenet). Finally, traditional sun protection took many forms across countries, including the origin of parasols in 2450 BC Assyria (Bailey). These natural skincare methods—ranging widely in efficacy and unpleasantness—all aim at the same goal: preserving that “good-for-her-age” glow. Action against aging transcends cultures, time periods, and places, suggesting this movement of women trying to maintain youthful skin is rooted beyond just geography or specific customs.

This societal phenomenon of women fighting their biological clocks has magnified in recent years. Anti-aging rhetoric is on the rise, perpetuated by advancements in the cosmetics industry and the proliferation of social media. Anti-aging cosmetics are rapidly evolving and multiplying; the market stood at 38.62 billion USD in value in 2018 and is estimated to increase in value to over 60 billion USD by 2026. The reason for this growth is “increasing thoughtfulness towards skincare. . . coupled with technological advancement in cosmetic products” as stated in a recent market assessment (“Anti-Aging Cosmetics Market”). This growth is evidence of a greater demand from consumers for products that will keep their skin looking young. The rising demand is in part because of social media’s impact on consumerism. Apps such as Instagram and TikTok are commonly used as platforms for advertising skincare, convincing even young girls to invest in anti-aging products. Gen Z women, who at the very oldest are in their mid-twenties, are often characterized by an obsession with their own youth (Haykal et al). Today’s pop culture tells women to spend more money on anti-aging products, and they’re listening. The parasols, gloves, and bonnets have been exchanged for expensive sunscreen, chemical peels, and Botox, but the intention remains: aging women do not want to look like they’re aging, and they’re willing to pay lots of money to do it.

So, how is this a problem? If women have the resources to feel good in their own skin, shouldn’t they use them? This is where I want to be very clear: I am not arguing against women’s use of anti-aging cosmetics. In fact, part of my argument aims to fight against any negative perceptions society has of these women. Too often, women who act on their feelings of dissatisfaction in their appearance are then considered vain, silly, or unnatural. Take plastic surgery as an example; women who undergo cosmetic procedures are commonly frowned upon for doing so. Once, head still in the sink after my haircut, I was taken aback when my hairdresser—in true hairdresser fashion—displayed this bias while gossiping about one of her neighbors, stating, “I think she’s gotten work done” with a wrinkle in her nose, as if this was further reason to dislike the person. One study explored this negative perception in a more scientific setting, arranging an experiment to test how women seeking plastic surgery are perceived in comparison to women planning to perform some other action. They found that women planning to get plastic surgery were consistently seen as lacking in traits of warmth and morality (Bonell). So, women are told to look younger, but when they do, they receive judgment. If someone wants to alter or enhance their appearance, let them exercise that bodily autonomy free from criticism. What a woman does with her body is her choice. My aim is to simply question why more women are acting against aging and how this negative connotation associated with getting older affects their self-esteem.

Action against aging isn’t just a fact of human history or another stat to add to market economics. Women are aware of their skin’s changing appearance as they get older, making this a conversation on not just consumerism, but self-esteem. By pushing the “anti-aging” agenda at older women, pop culture frames aging as a thing to be avoided, therefore affecting how these women view themselves. Older women are, contrary to popular assumption, aware of their aging appearance. Take, for example, Doña Carmen and Doña Rocío, two Latina women who were interviewed on their perceptions of their own aging (Glugoski). Carmen and Rocío both made self-deprecating comments about their own appearances. Doña Carmen stated, “When I look at myself in the mirror I get scared of seeing myself so old.” Doña Rocío compared her appearance to that of a “chancleta,” or an old shoe. Clearly, these women are aware of their aging skin. Another anecdote, touched on in the opening essay of Mother Time: Women, Aging, and Ethics, highlighted a group of elderly women who frequented a beauty parlor and expressed feelings of shame about their aging bodies (Waxman). And in the Great Myths of Aging, a global survey reported that “only 2% of women aged 18 to 64 considered themselves beautiful” (Erber and Szuchman). The common assumption that women stop worrying about their looks once they reach a certain age is wrong. A lot of women continue to be conscious of their changing appearances as they age, often with the perception that they’re becoming less beautiful; the more pressure and value society puts on skin staying young, the more that perception will spread. Simultaneously, women perceived as “aging gracefully” receive compliments, creating a feedback loop that further reinforces that looking old is to be avoided at all costs.

This negative framing of aging is worsened by its gender specificity; anti-aging is a gendered phenomenon, meaning a woman’s aging appearance is held to a much harsher standard than a man’s. This is illustrated in the way society frames older men and older women. Older men are romanticized, while older women are given nasty nicknames. The terms “old bag,” “hag,” and “wench” (and there’s more where that came from) apply only to women and stand in stark contrast to the common appraisal of “silver fox” which is applied only to men (Cohen). Older women are cast in a negative light, while older men are cast in a charming one. The framings of unwed women and men are in even starker contrast. An older woman without a husband is commonly called a spinster, while unmarried older men are named bachelors (Thane). One step further is “cougars” vs. “sugar daddies.” While both terms describe women and men, respectively, who date much younger members of the opposite sex, only the word “cougar” (older women who date younger men) connotes predatory behavior. Sugar daddies, on the other hand, are just older—and wealthier— men who like to date younger women and shower them with expensive gifts (of course, the younger women in question are called “gold-diggers—another predatory term (Cohen)). In each scenario, the woman is the one implicitly criticized for her dating preferences, evidence of a harsh double standard between aging women and aging men. Another symptom of this issue is that of men and women’s varying ability to maintain their sexual appeal as they age. This goes back to the silver fox conversation. Carlton theorizes that perhaps it is a man’s money and power—not his silver hair—that allows him to maintain his sexual appeal as he ages. (Carlton) And, of course, which gender has traditionally been given all the resources and opportunities to acquire money and power? That’s right – men. Most of these double standards and stereotypes connect back to our society’s traditional gender roles.

These negative perceptions and stereotypes imposed on aging women in comparison to men are deeply rooted in our society’s patriarchal foundations. We live in a system that was made by men, for men, because they’ve always been the ones in power (Gupta et al). How we view aging, along with most other socio-cultural concepts, has been shaped by this patriarchal structure, specifically in that we view old age more negatively in women than we do in men. One author expands on this notion in terms of domesticity; younger women, still able to buzz around, have sex, and bear children, are productive for a patriarchal society, while older women are not (Carlton). Women today have many options beyond domestic roles, but that wasn’t always the case. The value of a woman has traditionally been measured by her success as a mother and a wife. The historical gender roles that barred women from leaving the home may now be revised, but they continue to impact how we view women’s success as they age.

So, there exists a clear preoccupation with—and avoidance of—aging, and a definite divide in how this issue effects women and men. This problem has been magnified as anti-aging technology continually improves. Scientists know more about the skin and its life cycle now more than ever. Advancements in anti-aging technology won’t just keep skin smooth and fair; according to the National Library of Medicine, “fighting an aging process may well bring about an improvement of an age-related illness” (Arora). Consider skin cancer, the most basic example of how anti-aging advancements yield healthcare benefits. The same discoveries that help fifty year olds look forty also prevent sun-damage related illness and even death. For scientific purposes, aging isn’t even defined how we often think of it—in terms of beauty or physical appearance—but rather as the progressive failure of our bodily processes. It could be argued that the driving force behind anti-aging advancements is not cosmetic, but rather actual health and wellness. This view has merit, but is also reductive. After all, if this is the case, then why isn’t the healthcare of aging women a bigger priority?

A priority, it is not—look no further than the understanding and treatment of menopause by both the medical community and society at large. Menopause is the process by which a woman’s ovaries stop releasing eggs, eventually resulting in the woman’s inability to get pregnant. This process can begin as young as age forty-five and involves a multitude of unpleasant hormonal/bodily symptoms (“Menopause Basics”). Despite being a universal phenomenon of the female body, menopause went unresearched until 1991 with the advent of the Women’s Health Initiative (“About WHI”). Even today, misunderstanding and ignorance about menopause abound. Although this may seem like a minor issue (we never hear about it, after all), the lack of research has been proven to be harmful for women’s healthcare (Walsh). Every woman goes through menopause—our sisters, mothers, female friends, and grandmothers alike—all while the most important people in her life know almost nothing about it. Learning about my mom’s experience with menopause has been enlightening; things were happening to her that she’d never even heard of, and she couldn’t believe her own mother had endured such challenges with even less information and support. She recalls, “Grandma went to a doctor and was told menopause is just part of life. Hot flashes, night sweats, all that stuff… It is what it is. Nothing they could do” (Fife). She calls menopause “a silent battle” because people don’t talk about it enough. Women are not given the attention and education required to effectively treat the menopause symptoms, making it a much more negative experience than it needs to be.

There’s a lot to say about menopause—enough that it could get a research paper of its own—but I’ll stick to my point: we are so preoccupied with the physical appearance of aging women, emphasizing the importance of looking as young as possible, that we haven’t yet invested enough research and education into the physical changes and health problems that occur as women age. And the irony is, one of the many symptoms of menopause is a decrease in collagen production. Collagen is the main structural protein of the human body’s tissues, making it a vital factor in the appearance, texture, and turnover of skin (Wu). If menopause were regarded as a serious medical phenomenon, it would almost certainly result in treatment options with anti-aging as a tertiary benefit. Instead, aging women face a catch-22—they are told they must do everything in their power to look younger but they must ignore menopause, the very biological force altering their skin’s appearance, because it is “just part of life.”

The negative perceptions of aging women and what this implies in the broader conversations of societal structure, popular culture, and healthcare can be revised. Simply having a conversation and being aware of the discourse around aging women could be helpful in reframing how we think and talk about getting older. Celebrating age and wisdom—not smooth skin—is the perfect place to start.

Maybe I’m biased—I am, of course, a woman, surrounded by a family that allows me to see the beauty in our sex—but that, I think, makes me perfectly qualified. I will always stop and question the norms around me, especially when they relate to historical sexism and how it bleeds into today’s culture. Aging can be perceived in a positive way. Women—older women, wise from the lives they’ve lived and beautiful in a way that seems almost divine—women deserve to age knowing the power in their existence. Aging is, undoubtedly, a beautiful thing.

Works Cited

“Anti-aging Cosmetics Market Assessment (2019-2026)” NASDAQ OMX’s News Release Distribution Channel, Oct. 11, 2022. ProQuest, https://login.dist.lib.usu.edu/login?url=https://www.proquest.com/wire-feeds/anti-aging cosmetics-market-assessment-2019-2026/docview/2723373720/se-2. Accessed 20 Oct. 2024.

Arora, Balvant P. “Anti-Aging Medicine.” Indian Journal of Plastic Surgery, vol. 41, 2008, U.S. National Library of Medicine, pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2825135/. Accessed 1 Nov. 2024.

“About WHI.” Women’s Health Initiative, 2021, www.whi.org/about-whi. Accessed 3 Dec. 2024.

Bailey, Austin. “Sun Protection through the Ages.” Heifer International, 15 May 2020, www.heifer.org/blog/sun-protection-through-the-ages-infographic.html. Accessed 2 Dec. 2024.

Bonell, Sarah, et al. “Under the Knife: Unfavorable Perceptions of Women Who Seek Plastic Surgery.” PloS one, vol. 16, no. 9, 7 Sept. 2021, PubMed Central, pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8423238/. Accessed 1 Nov. 2024.

Carlton, Angela. “Why Men Become Silver Foxes and Women Become Spinsters.” Medium, 18 Dec. 2023, https://angelacarlton-39207.medium.com/why-men-become-silver-foxes-and women-become-spinsters-6180f9f96313. Accessed 1 Nov. 2024.

Cohen, Claire. “Hag, Harridan, Crone: 16 Words We Only Use to Describe Older Women.” The Telegraph, 20 Mar. 2018, www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/hag harridan-crone-16-words-use-describe-older-women/. Accessed 1 Nov. 2024.

“Elizabeth I: Fashion and Beauty.” Royal Museums Greenwich, www.rmg.co.uk/stories/topics/elizabeth-i-fashion-beauty. Accessed 21 Nov. 2024.

Erber, Joan T., and Lenore T. Szuchman “The Body: Older women do not care about their looks.” Great Myths of Aging, E-book, pp. 25-29, John Wiley & Sons, Incorporated, 2014, https://www.proquest.com/docview/2131413791/bookReader?accountid=14761&ppg=9 &sourcetype=Books. Accessed 20 Oct. 2024.

Fife, Jennifer. Personal interview. 15 Oct. 2024.

Glugoski, Greta G. A participatory study of the self-concept of elderly Hispanic women: Dialogo con las ancianas, 1989, University of San Francisco, PhD Dissertation, pp. 226- 227. ProQuest, https://login.dist.lib.usu.edu/login?url=https://www.proquest.com/dissertations theses/participatory-study-self-concept-elderly-hispanic/docview/303803202/se-2. Accessed 20 Oct. 2024.

Gupta, Mayank, et al. “Critical Overview of Patriarchy, Its Interferences with Psychological Development, and Risks for Mental Health.” Cureus, vol. 15, no. 6,10 June 2023, U.S. National Library of Medicine, pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10332384/. Accessed 2 Dec. 2024.

Haykal, Diala, et al. “Prejuvenation: The Global New Anti-Aging Trend.” Aesthetic Surgery Journal. Open Forum, vol. 5, 28 June 2023, U.S. National Library of Medicine, pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10339083/. Accessed 2 Dec. 2024.

“Alpha Hydroxy Acid (AHA); Stands the Test of Time.” KenetMD Skincare, 31 Jan 2022, kenetmdskincare.com/blogs/news/alpha-hydroxy-acid aha-stands-the-test-of-time. Accessed 1 Nov. 2024.

“Menopause Basics: Office on Women’s Health.” OASH | Office on Women’s Health, www.womenshealth.gov/menopause/menopause-basics. Accessed 1 Dec. 2024.

Thane, Pat. “Social histories of old age and aging.” Journal of Social History, vol. 37, no. 1, 2003, pp. 93-111. ProQuest, doi:https://doi.org/10.1353/jsh.2003.0163. Accessed 10 Nov. 2024.

Walsh, Jennifer. “How Gaps in Research Lead to Gaps in Care for Aging Women.” News & Research, Harvard Medical School, 10 Jan. 2024, hms.harvard.edu/news/how-gaps scientific-data-lead-gaps-care-aging-women. Accessed 1 Nov. 2024.

Waxman, Barbara. “REVISING OUR CULTURAL STEREOTYPES OF ELDERLY WOMEN AND OLD AGE.” Feminist Collections: a Quarterly of Women’s Studies Resources, vol. 23, no. 1, 2001, pp. 1. ProQuest, https://login.dist.lib.usu.edu/login?url=https://www.proquest.com/scholarly journals/revising-our-cultural-stereotypes-elderly-women/docview/221217166/se-2. Accessed 10 Nov. 2024.

Wu, Marlyn et al. “Biochemistry, Collagen Synthesis.” StatPearls Publishing, 4 Sept. 2023, U.S. National Library of Medicine, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK507709/#:~:text=Collagen%20is%20protein%20molec ules%20made,tendons%2C%20bones%2C%20and%20ligaments. Accessed 1 Nov. 2024.

Zahra, Mohammed H., et al. “The Possibility of Including Donkey Meat and Milk in the Food Chain: A Southern African Scenario.” Animals, vol. 12, no. 9, 2022, pp. 1073. ProQuest, https://login.dist.lib.usu.edu/login?url=https://www.proquest.com/scholarly journals/possibility-including-donkey-meat-milk-food-chain/docview/2662853274/se-2. Accessed 1 Nov. 2024.