53 The Life Changing Role of a Coach
Grayson Goodrich
Author Biography
Grayson Goodrich is a small-town farm boy who loves basketball, soccer, and everything spontaneous. He is currently a sophomore at Utah State University studying Kinesiology and Nutrition Science. Grayson is the fourth of seven children in his family. In his free time, he enjoys playing the guitar, exercising, spending time with friends and family, and smiling and laughing as much as possible.
Writing Reflection
When I learned about this assignment, coaching was one of the first ideas that came to my head. Sports have been a very large and crucial part of my life, and I now consider many of my coaches as family. I experienced such a large variety and have heard so many stories of good and bad things that coaches have done. I’m a firm believer that coaches and sports have the ability to shape one’s life in a unique and powerful way. That is why I thought it would be an important topic to write about. The writing process was quite enjoyable. It was interesting to me to see all of the different perspectives people have. Much of what I experienced was very different from what studies have shown. That made it quite difficult at times to incorporate research and effectively analyze it. However, as I made several drafts with multiple peer reviews, I believe that I was able to effectively organize things in a way to try and make a positive impact on future coaches and athletes.
This essay was composed in November 2022 and uses MLA documentation.
Dear Tucker,
Sports have been such a massive part of your life. As your favorite big brother, I’ve loved watching you grow and play through the years. It’s no secret that you have incredible natural talent. Combine that with an amazing work ethic, and you will have the State Championship title that you deserve so well. Because of your success as an athlete, I know you have a great desire to coach in the future. I’m writing this paper in hopes of giving you ideas as to some things to include and not include in your future coaching.
As you’ve already experienced, coaches can play a life-changing role. This makes the title of “Coach” come with great responsibility. Through my experience and research, I have learned that to be the most effective coach, you must focus on the coach-athlete relationship. This relationship must be built on shared values and standards. It must be consistently nurtured and adjusted to the age, experience, and needs of each player. As you focus on techniques of positive and negative reinforcement and motivate them through intrinsic and extrinsic methods, you can have the opportunity to bring about much success, both athletically and in life overall. With such a sensitive rising generation, coaches have the responsibility to treat athletes in such a way as to avoid all forms of abuse. They must preserve and improve the mental and physical health of their athletes and avoid anything that will cause lasting damage.
We can both agree that Mike Krzyzewski, also known as Coach K, is one of the greatest coaches of all time. His career involved being nominated into the Naismith Hall of Fame, five NCAA championships at Duke University, and six Olympic gold medals as head Coach of the US Men’s National Basketball Team. As I learned about various coaching techniques, his focus on building a personal relationship with his athletes amazed me. In an interview by Richard H. Brodhead, President of Duke University, Coach K taught of his approach,
“You have to have somebody who believes in you, that you can reach the limit, because sometimes you won’t be able to believe in that. And that’s what I try to do. I think the very first thing is when we recruit a kid…we try to develop trust. And I tell them that…I’ll be someone…that they will be able to trust their entire life. But I really need for them to trust me during the first stages of our relationship” (Krzyzewski, Lessons in Leadership).
Here we learn about the big picture of coaching – lifelong changes. Coach K teaches that trust is his first initial focus. I’ve seen in my personal experience the difference that can make. My junior and senior years of soccer fostered a great opportunity for me in that regard. We didn’t have a coach for the goalies. Our head coach asked me to step up and figure it out. He trusted in me and my abilities. That taught me the importance of work outside of practice. It required me to dedicate a lot of extra time and effort to learn how to play the position better. Hours of watching films and analyzing mistakes. Pages of notes and designing different drills. This is a principle that has continued to help me in life in academics and work opportunities (among other things). Having that experience shaped who I am, helping me be more committed and hard-working in my studies and other responsibilities. You can relate to what it feels like to be someone that people can trust. When that trust is there, you motivate yourself to be something better. If a coach recognizes that and magnifies that, tremendous growth occurs.
Sophia Jowett, a professor at Loughborough University, wrote, “When coaches and athletes are connected with one another [they] are more likely to want to listen to one another, to pay attention to the needs, aspirations and goals of one another” (Jowett 62). As a coach, make these connections with your players. Just like a positive parent-child relationship, when there is mutual respect, stronger relationships develop. Memorable experiences and continued growth then follow.
It’s clear that as a coach, you must make a conscious effort to build a close, trusting relationship with your players. It’s more than just a trusting relationship, though. As a coach, you’re setting the pace for so many aspects of an athlete’s life: home, work, school, and probably more than anything, their personal health—both physical and mental. That leads me to my next point, which is to become the best coach you can be.
If coaching is something you choose to pursue, you’ll be amazed to see the influence you can have on the mental health of an athlete. I remember the hours you and I spent with athletics growing up. On away games we’d often leave at 9 or 10 in the morning to get on the bus. Sometimes returning home past midnight. The sheer amount of time we spent showed how much our coaches and sports ruled our lives. Kimberly Bartholomew, along with other professors at the University of Birmingham, studied different interpersonal styles when it comes to coaching. They found that
[e]vidence suggests that coaches can also exert excessive personal control and engage in over-intrusive behaviors such as attempting to interfere in aspects of the athletes’ lives that are not directly associated with their sport participation, for example, by banning athletes from playing other sports or from staying out…. As such, athletes may experience extreme pressure from coaches to prioritize their sport involvement over other important aspects of their life, such as spending time with family and friends. In extreme cases, an athlete’s whole life is expected to revolve entirely around his or her sport participation. (Bartholomew 197)
You and I both experienced the mental toll of sports, along with the mental toll of bad coaching. Again, the time we spent and the way we were taught to prioritize our sports really controlled our lives. Everything seemed to revolve around them. A coach who isn’t conscious of this can lead to controlling behaviors that ruin an athlete’s mental health. Bartholomew also taught, “Controlling coaching behaviors can induce a change in the athletes’ perceived locus of causality from internal to external. The resultant loss of control undermines athletes’ psychological needs and sense of self-determination, and contributes to controlled motivation” (Bartholomew 194 – 195). Controlled motivation has its place in sports. However, for some, it can be quite detrimental.
While researching the effect of coaches on athlete’s mental health, I found an anonymous story from a 16-year-old high school football player. He shared:
Going into high school I was a standout athlete with high confidence [until] I started to lose interest. It just wasn’t fun anymore. I hated practice because I was always worrying about messing up and being embarrassed by the coach….When I thought I did something right he thought it was wrong, and when I tried to work hard and gain his approval it was never good enough….I knew the coach was tough, and I have no problems doing extra work or having someone push me to do better. But when he gets in my face, calls me out, embarrasses me in front of the team, and has a problem with me every day it makes me question why I still play….Now I can’t wait for the season to be over, and practice is always the worst part of my day. I don’t tell anyone how it affects my motivation and confidence because it’s football, and everyone complains about the coach. You just have to quit or accept it. (Edgar)
This was a powerful example of the negative effects this can have. It doesn’t explicitly talk about depression or other more recognizable mental health disorders, but it’s clear to see that there was emotional and mental abuse in a difficult form. Creating an environment that leads to someone having no desire to remain part of it is heartbreaking for anybody who sees or hears about such an event. Therefore, the million-dollar question is, “How do we prevent this from happening?”
In thinking and learning about the problem so many athletes face in society today, here’s what I have come to as a possible solution. Preventing athletes’ negative mental health requires constant adjusting to meet the needs of each player. If you want to be the best coach you can be, you can’t treat your 6-year-old son the same way that you treat your high school-aged daughter. Age, gender, experience, etc., all play a role in how you should interact with each of your players. You should be adapting your coaching techniques to be targeted to individual needs. We both personally experienced this quite often. Our basketball coaches, Mark and Jeremy Peterson, coached us much more than they coached the other players on the team. The standard of practice and play was raised much higher for us. They knew we could take the criticism and correction and they showed that. However, not everybody is the same way.
Ashley Stirling and Gretchen Kerr, two professors at the University of Toronto, conducted a study with several elite female athletes called, “Abused Athletes’ Perceptions of the Coach-Athlete Relationship”. They studied how abuse stems from the power imbalance in the coach-athlete relationship. ( refers to the coach being viewed in a position of greater power or authority than the athlete). As mentioned before, coaches control large amounts of an athlete’s life. Many coaches, especially coaches of female athletes, do not always use this power in the best way. They discovered two major techniques these coaches would use: fear and normalization of abusive behaviors. The article states, “[The athletes] expressed fear in two respects; one was a sense of being intimidated by the coach, and the second was a fear of losing their athletic career” (Stirling & Kerr 233). With the respect and power that comes with being a coach, you must be aware of how each person interprets your actions. Your approaches must be personalized because what might motivate one player could be detrimental to another. I remember one time in basketball practice when Coach Mark was quite direct and harsh in correcting me on something I needed to improve. I was used to criticism and appreciated feedback that helped me see where I could grow. This one was particularly negative and stung deeper than normal. Towards the end of that session, I asked him why he didn’t talk that way to another specific player on the team who always seemed like the coach’s favorite. He wouldn’t get yelled at, he played more than anyone else, and nobody really got along with him. I’ll always remember Mark looking at me and replying, “Because he can’t handle it.” Mark recognized that each of us needed different things. It’s part of what made him such an impactful coach on both you and me.
While serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I once spent a day with Cole Hagen. Hagen was the 2019 Utah Gatorade Player of the Year; he graduated with a 4.0 GPA and committed to play football for Yale University. He led his high school football team as quarterback to two 6A State Championships with perfect winning records in both years. He is now a prospective quarterback for Brigham Young University for the 2023 season. This guy is what some might call “the stuff.” While we visited, he asked me if I played sports in high school. When I responded with a yes, he elaborated with, “So you know what it’s like to get a good stern talking to” (Hagen). As we talked, he shared how those “stern talking to’s” really helped him grow. He took the criticism and used it as motivation and guidance to better himself. The more strict and less friendly coaching approaches were more effective for him.
Going back to the earlier study, they also taught, “According to the athletes, their admiration and fear for the coach prevented them from questioning the coaches’ behaviors or admitting to themselves that the abusive coaching behaviors may be wrong” (Stirling & Kerr, 233). As a coach, you can’t excuse misbehavior. Especially if this behavior is abusive in any form. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines abuse as, “a corrupt practice or custom” and “improper or excessive use or treatment” (Merriam-Webster, “Abuse”). Conscious effort is required to prevent such acts from occurring. A great way to structure your coaching to prevent abuse and other detriments is by focusing more on value and standards rather than personal attributes and performance.
In a podcast called “Coaching and Leading with a Value-Based Culture…” they interviewed Coach Mike Krzyzewski as well. In this podcast, Coach K taught about the different opportunities he had both as a basketball player and as a basketball coach. His career started at West Point Military Academy. Of this experience, he shared, “Being in the environment of West Point, I learned what a culture value-based environment…stands the test of. It’s great during good times, but you know what? It’s even better during the tough times.” He applied this in the following ways: “We’re going to have standards, not rules…. And…we always tell each other the truth.” An example of this is when he taught, “Failure [is] not your destination. In other words, when you got knocked down, you get up and don’t always get up alone. Be on a team that will…make you better and look part of the journey to be outstanding” (On Point, 2022). I love everything that he teaches. When a coach focuses on these values or these core standards, it magnifies the ability of a team. The focus transfers from “me” to “we” because you have the same goal in mind. We experienced this with basketball. The Peterson’s determined a theme/value that would be integrated as part of our team. That word was “family”. We had matching shirts, posters, and regular cheers bringing us together over the strength that such a label can cause. As a team, we shared the values that came with that word. Values such as hard work, selflessness, hope, support, respect, etc. That made a huge impact on my experience that season.
A good coach recognizes this value-based culture and the standards that are associated with it and magnifies them to become sources of motivation. There’s an ongoing debate on the best way to inspire players to better themselves. According to research performed by three professors, “Coaches today…have started to appreciate that understanding the athlete at a deeper level may be what good…coaching practice looks like. Accordingly, athletes may feel more empowered, accountable, and responsible as they are invited by their coaches to…become part of the coaching and decision-making process” (Jowett et al. 22). When a coach acknowledges the opinion and experience of the athlete, motivation strongly follows.
Another study performed by Sophia Jowett (who was referred to earlier) looked into what motivates coaches. The results found that “Athletes’ satisfaction with performance and instruction appeared to be unaffected by the type of coach motivation, with the exclusion of satisfaction with the coach-athlete relationship” (Jowett 669). In other words, the reason why a coach is coaching does not affect an athlete’s satisfaction with their performance. If they’re coaching because they want extra time with one of their, kids, or if they’re on a quest for a national championship, the result is still the same. What affects an athlete’s satisfaction is whether or not they have a close relationship with their coach.
So, to wrap up everything I’ve discussed, I emphasize what I led with; the path to becoming the best coach you can is to focus primarily on the coach-athlete relationship. After you prioritize building this relationship, you can then adjust your coaching to meet their individual needs. This greatly reduces abusive experiences, prevents poor mental health, and minimizes negative experiences to a greater capacity. That, in my mind, is a common goal that any coach would want. The solution, then, is to focus on values, set public standards, and develop shared goals.
In an effort to help you succeed and make a difference in the world of future athletics, I tapped into a small supply of the many great techniques to apply and several key things to avoid in your future coaching career. There’s always more to learn, seeing as it’s an ever-changing career. However, I believe that if you apply some of what I have discussed, you will be amazed to see how many lives you can change. Someday you’ll put your arm around a 17-year-old kid who walked into your open gym basketball practice for the first time with his little brother. You’ll look him in the eyes and quietly inspire him with, “You’re an athlete, and we need you.” At that moment, you’ll change his life for the better. What an incredible opportunity.
Works Cited
“Abuse.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/abuse. Accessed 25 Nov. 2022.
Bartholomew, Kimberley J et al. “The controlling interpersonal style in a coaching context: development and initial validation of a psychometric scale.” Journal of sport & exercise psychology vol. 32,2 (2010): 193-216. doi:10.1123/jsep.32.2.193. Accessed 18 Nov. 2022.
Edger, Mike. “How Bully Coaches Affect an Athlete’s Mental Game | Sports Psychology Today – Sports Psychology.” Sports Psychology Today – Sports Psychology | Provided by Mental Edge Athletics, 21 Feb. 2015, www.sportpsychologytoday.com/youth-sports- psychology/how-bully-coaches-affect-athletes-mental-game. Accessed 1 Dec. 2022.
Hagen, Cole. Personal Interview. 16 Nov. 2022.
Jowett, Sophia. “What Makes Coaches Tick? The Impact of Coaches’ Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motives on Their Own Satisfaction and That of Their Athletes.” Scandinavian Journal of Medicine & Science in Sports, vol. 18, no. 5, Oct. 2008, pp. 664–73. EBSCOhost, https://doi-org.dist.lib.usu.edu/10.1111/j.1600-0838.2007.00705.x. Accessed 18 Nov. 2022.
Jowett, Sophia. “At the Heart of Effective Sport Leadership Lies the Dyadic Coach-Athlete Relationship.” Sport & Exercise Psychology Review, vol. 13, no. 1, Mar. 2017, pp. 62– 64. EBSCOhost, https://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=asn&AN=121491011&site=eho st-live. Accessed 18 Nov. 2022.
Jowett, Sophia, et al. “Women in Coaching: What Are the Problems and Probable Solutions?” Sport & Exercise Psychology Review, vol. 17, no. 1, Mar. 2022, pp. 16–29. EBSCOhost, https://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=asn&AN=156387659&site=eho st-live. Accessed 18 Nov. 2022.
Krzyzewski, Mike. Interview. Conducted by Richard H. Brodhead. 22 May 2012. Lessons in Leadership with Duke University’s Coach K – YouTube. Accessed 18 Nov. 2022.
Stirling, Ashley E., and Gretchen A. Kerr. “Abused Athletes’ Perceptions of the Coach-Athlete Relationship.” Sport in Society, 2nd ed., vol. 12, Routledge, 2009, pp. 227–39. https://doi.org/10.1080/17430430802591019. Accessed 18 Nov. 2022.
On Point. “Coaching and Leading with a Values-Based Culture with Coach Mike Krzyzewski ’69, Retired Men’s Basketball Head Coach at Duke University”. Apple Podcasts, 3 August 2022, https://on-point-09d5baab.simplecast.com/episodes/coaching- and-leading. Accessed 16 Nov. 2022.
