Author Biography

Camron Kunz is an enthusiastic freshman at Utah State University. His hobbies include hiking, gaming, writing, singing, dancing, and acting. Camron is studying Theater Arts and aspires to graduate with a BFA in Acting. He is not a big fan of sweets, though He loves his sweet family more than oxygen. Camron is also a hopeful romantic and persistent optimist. Additionally, He believes in the power of deep and real conversations.

This essay was composed in February 2023 and uses MLA documentation.

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My grandpa died, but I was too young to remember it. My grandmother took it pretty well though. She told me once that, “When you get my age, you fill weekends with friends’ funerals.”

At 14, I was not ready to be 74:

At 14, on Oct 02, in 2018, at 10pm, I sat on our front porch. I’d been sitting there for a while. My family thought I was thinking, but I didn’t know what to think. All I could do was watch the earth grieve for our friend:

I watched the rain stream from low and dark nimbus’. But, the rain wasn’t angry, it was sad. I could tell by the way the water fell from the clouds like tears from a peach-fuzz chin.

I watched the trees sway and rock in the wind. But, the trees weren’t angry, they were sad. I could tell by the way the wind cradled and rocked them in a lovin’ way. The lovin’ way a mama does when a scared kid clenches their leg.

I watched the pretty flowers tremble and disappear into the night. But, the flowers weren’t angry, they were scared- because they didn’t know what happens to the other flowers when a night like tonight takes them and they didn’t know if they would ever see those other flowers again and they worried about those other lost flowers and they wanted them home so they could hug them and they didn’t know how to cope with the idea that some flowers just don’t survive until next spring and they want to run but there tangled up in this low, dark, scary night…

In this low, dark, scary night I watched the earth grieve for hours. At some point my eldest brother, Patrick, stepped out onto the porch. He brought his guitar and 16 years of life with him. Though he couldn’t bring himself to speak. So he played a slow requiem and sat with me while I felt the world’s grief. There came a point where I became tired of tonight. So for the first time in my life, I decided it was time for bed.

As I stood at the end of my watching, Pat asked: “Was the music distracting?” (As if he worried that somehow his company made tonight lower, darker, or scarier.)

I said “Honestly, I wasn’t thinking about the music.”

Relieved but not content, Pat followed me to the door and said: “I’m sorry. You’ve found the one thing I haven’t done.” (Being the oldest he’s used to empathy, but tonight he’s restrained to sympathy.) “So you’re gonna have to be the first one that does it. But I still got you, ok?”

“ok.” I say.

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The word accident has taken on many meanings over the years:

Back in 300 BC, Aristotle coined the term accident to mean: “a property or quality not essential to a substance or object” Aristotle and Aristotelians believing that an accident is something minor and insignificant. That definition should give us all solace when publicly speaking at important events, like weddings (or funerals), because according to the great philosopher accidents are ultimately negligible.

However, Aristotle’s Definition didn’t stick around for long, because your words have a funny way of meaning something one day and meaning all the more the next day. Like the first “I love you!” to your future wife, or the last “I can’t stand you!” to a deceased loved one.

When the 1300s rolled around, the word accident started to mean “Something that happens by chance or without expectation.” Like the first or last time you lock eyes with that special someone. Fortunately though 1300’s writers provided a clever spin on the word. They invented the “happy accident”; or at least that’s what they began calling fortunate events that happened by chance and without expectation.

Unfortunately the word accident, as you well know, does not resemble its happy and minute ancestors much these days. Its ancestors were shallow, whereas the word “accident” has much more gravitas nowadays: From the 1700’s to the present, the word “accident” can be defined as “an unfortunate and typically unforeseen event, a disaster, or a mishap.”

You see, around this time the word accident began to be associated with death. Not coincidentally, this was the same time that the world started to become familiar with death. In 1756, the 7 Years War (also known as the French and Indian War) shook Mother Earth. The war obliterated innocence in the whole colonial world and for an estimated 1,000,000 families.

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Today the word accident has replaced the word tragedy. The first time I remember the word being used this way I was 14, it was Oct 02, in 2018, at 10am.

Mr. Glen, my friend and the principal of Oquirrh Hills, buzzed onto the overhead speakers. He unexpectedly announced: “There has been an accident.”

But I realized he meant, “There has been a tragedy.” At this moment my world became familiar with death. Any innocence I was holding onto, was sufficiently obliterated.

“We send our love to everyone who is grieving.” Glen was a kind man, and he spoke with mature empathy, “We love Kaiden, and we will all miss her very much… If you are struggling or need someone to talk to, your school counselors are here for you…”

From here Mr. Glen’s speech continued and trailed off into the back of my mind. Because at this moment, Catherin, a sweet African girl, broke into feverish sobs next to me. The rest of the class was motionless. Even our witty, never-miss-a-beat, earth science teacher had a look of uncomfortable uncertainty. It was apparent that no one was breathing. Our student handbook did not prepare any of us for this.

With my back to my plastic chair, I wanted so badly to be furious. To hate somebody, to despise something, to just feel something! But a numbness flooded my body and brain. I didn’t even feel anything when I kicked the metal doorframe on my way out, on my way home.

I walked and walked and walked past my house. My considerate mother pulled up next to me in a Subaru. She knew I carried everything I possibly could in my backpack. So she simply asked if I would like her to take my backpack home, so I didn’t have to walk with so much weight bearing down on my back. I gave her my backpack, and silence as I continued to walk. The numbness plaguing me as I went.

Eventually I made my way into our backyard. And after lying in the hammock a while, staring at the withered flowers, I eventually slid open the backdoor and went inside. There I found an entourage of familial faces.

“How are you feeling?” they asked, each with a different level of dread contorting their face.

I said, “…eh.” This was about the best summation I could articulate.

“…Did. Did you know her?” My mother asked, finally popping the question.

In response, I whimpered, “Sh-she was my b-best friend last year.” The question dispelled all the numbness. I hugged myself and feverishly weeped like a tiny, isolated, island in a typhoon.

My Mother maternally responded, “Oh, honey.” As she wrapped her arms around me.

My head fell onto her chest, and I was a little less scared. Like a tiny, isolated, island, embraced by the eye of a storm.

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Accident: “An unfortunate and unforeseen event involving damage or injury; specifically a collision or similar incident in which at least one of the parties involved is a vehicle.” – Oxford Dictionary

I marvel sometimes at how accidents in technology have taken the breath from so many lives. It’s practically part of the scientific method at this point: The entrepreneur asks “How to bake the bread faster?” The inventor replies “Invent the oven!” The consumer cries “Yay!” Except some consumers sob “Why…” Because the invention of the oven, accidentally, left some family standing on the curb, with a bonfire reflecting in their eyes, and with one less reason to need a nursery. To this the entrepreneur replies “accidents will happen.” The inventor speculates “it was an accident waiting to happen.” And we consumers end up paying the price, plus tax, with someone that is priceless.

In our modern day these “accidents” are grievously common. In fact, according to the National Center for Health Statistics, “unintentional injuries” (or accidents) are the 4th leading cause of death in the US, for both adults and infants. Though that shouldn’t be news to you, because we pass them on the side of the road all the time. And every mangled vehicle has us questioning “why?” Was it the commonplace drowsy driver? Could it possibly be the tipsy driver who was pretty sure they weren’t too far gone? Was it that person who just sent one text, one time? Or, heaven forbid, was it the seat belt protestor? Or maybe we choose not to look at the wrecks. Because it’s easy to look at a train wreck, that could never be any of us. But it’s hard to look at a car wreck, because that could be any of us.

Though it’s somebody’s job to look at the wrecks. They’re called insurance company adjusters. Insurance company adjusters professionally play the blame game. They decide who is at fault in a car accident. Which seems silly to call something an “accident” but accuse someone of fault. But then again, on October 2nd I wanted someone to blame. But everyone told me “God must have wanted her back sooner than we expected.” Which isn’t something I disagree with, but I wasn’t ready to let that explanation fill the hole in my soul.

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At 14, on Oct. 2, 2018, at 7:30am, Kaiden Jo Cherrington puts on her characteristic smile (The one that reveals her pearly whites and causes a honey glow in her cheeks). She’s grinning cause her sisters all went to Maverick for slurpees, despite school starting soon. At 7:35, the 3 sisters walk out of Maverick, with matching slurpees (pina colada) and freckles (the kind of freckles gained from long days in the sun). At 7:40, Kaiden boosts the 3 year old up into the back seat (double checking her seatbelt), and they begin to pull out of the parking lot. At 7:45, their yellow Volkswagen starts a left turn. While a red Subaru accelerates to catch the yellow(red) light. At 7:49, the whole world tenses to a halt. The birds drop to their branches, the autumn tree branches bow, even the cold western winds freeze up (I like to think the Lord was merciful, so 7:49 must have been when the angels carried her to heaven, but Fox 13 told a different story). The world tensed to a stop, because at 7:50, metal met metal. Thunder met sky. Metal met flesh. Screams met ears. Lungs met blood. Trap met victim. Paramedics met too-late. And finally, Soul met heaven.

At 8:00am, to the distant sound of a middle school bell, the world resumed its rotation. It was a sad, monotonous, peal of a bell. I hardly remember it. However I remember, just the day before, a different bell ringing. The bell tolled much happier back then:

Ring-a ling ding, went the middle school bell. All of us are 14. It’s Oct 1, 2018, at 3pm. Ms. Hopkin dismisses us, and we shuffle out the door. All the while I’m caught in conversation with Kaiden and Catherin. Before we go our separate ways, I crack a bad dad joke. Just to squeeze a smile out of them (All laughs would be a bonus).

Kaiden gave me a pleasant chuckle and a “See ya tomorrow Camron.” Turning her head, She also gave me that characteristic smile.

I responded hopefully, “I’ll look forward to it. See ya then.”

As we turned away from each other, my heart gave a weird tug on my body. It wanted a hug before she left. At the time I didn’t understand the language of the soul. Neither did I know that hearts and souls have a way of knowing what you should do. Before you know why you should do it. It’s almost as if our hearts and souls know accidents will happen, and they know there are accidents in our lives waiting to happen.

But back when we were kids of 14, living on Oct 1, 2018, at 3pm, we didn’t comprehend that:

Accidents are only accidents because you don’t see them coming.

Work Cited

Hartman, Taylor, and Rebecca Green. “Police Identify 14-Year-Old Victim after Crash in Riverton; Child in Serious Condition.” FOX 13 News Utah (KSTU), FOX 13 News Utah (KSTU), 3 Oct. 2018, https://www.fox13now.com/2018/10/02/one-flown-to-hospital-lanes-closed-after-crash-in-riverton

Hartman, Taylor. “14-Year-Old Killed in Tragic Riverton Crash Tuesday Remembered by Friends.” FOX 13 News Utah (KSTU), FOX 13 News Utah (KSTU), 3 Oct. 2018, https://www.fox13now.com/2018/10/02/14-year-old-killed-in-tragic-riverton-crash-tuesday-remembered-by-friends

“Oxford English Dictionary, Accident, n.” Home : Oxford English Dictionary, 2022, https://www.oed.com/view/Entry/1051?rskey=Eh7Ipl&result=1&isAdvanced=false#eid39895102

Encyclopedia contributors, New World. “Seven Years War.” Visit the Main Page, New World Encyclopedia, 26 Jan. 2023, https://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/p/index.php?title=Seven_Years_War&oldid=1098045.

Xu JQ, Murphy SL, Kochanek KD, Arias E. Mortality in the United States, 2021. NCHS Data Brief, no 456. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics. 2022. DOI: https://dx.doi.org/10.15620/cdc:122516

Nealon, Lizzie. “How Is Fault Determined in a Car Accident?” Bankrate, Bankrate, 14 Dec. 2022, https://www.bankrate.com/insurance/car/how-is-fault-determined-in-a-car-accident/