17 PERFECT

This essay was composed in January 2021.

What’s your name?; tell me about yourself; wow, you’re perfect; i hate being called perfect; why don’t you have a boyfriend?; wow, you’re so perfect; you don’t know me; talk to me; hang out with me; laugh with me; go out with me; just be your perfect self; spend time with me- when I want you to; reach out to me, but don’t expect a quick reply; smile- you have a beautiful smile; call me, i miss you; share your feelings with me, but only the ones I want to hear; will you sing to me? you have the perfect voice; wow, you really are perfect; i hope you aren’t crazy; stay perfect- don’t change anything; message me first, just don’t appear desperate; ask me out—if I feel like it I’ll show up; why are you so upset?; don’t be angry, only crazy girls get angry; be interesting, but not too interesting—I can’t have you overshadow me; what did I do to deserve you?; you’re such an angel; you’re gorgeous, don’t show it off too much though, or the other guys will start looking at you; don’t be jealous; you’re mine but you’re just too perfect for me to let anyone know—you’re just too perfect for me to stay; do you even hear yourself?; don’t be so emotional; you’re being dramatic, i didn’t even do anything; it’s fine I forgive you; stop overthinking everything; good; you are perfect after all; i’m here for you; you know you can tell me anything; I keep my emotions in so I won’t get hurt again; that’s bad!; you shouldn’t hide your feelings; God gave us feelings to express them; you already know that though because you’re MY angel; you can do anything; have ambitions but don’t share them with me- stay the blank canvas that I can paint any colors I want; smile- you’re happy remember?; why are you acting differently?; that’s not who you are; when you’re put on a pedestal you have a long way to fall; don’t worry about things so much; how can I not?; don’t try to figure out what i’m feeling; do you even know what you’re feeling?; don’t talk to him; why should it matter?; don’t argue with me; don’t try to control me, then; don’t contradict me; that’s ironic; don’t sass me; wh-what sass?; don’t make things so complicated; it takes two to tango, pal; don’t tell me we’re just friends; but that’s what YOU just said; don’t be too clingy; don’t try to pretend you don’t like me; don’t move on; don’t forget about me; don’t cramp my style; don’t walk away from me; don’t expect so much; don’t EVER give me an ultimatum; what’s the point in playing a game i’m gonna lose?; don’t call me out; don’t get other people involved; don’t start acting crazy like the other guys told me you would; ; don’t, don’t, don’t… so what do you want?; you know I love you; I love everything about you- your long blonde hair, your big blue eyes, your flawless smile; you always know exactly what to say; you always know when I need your help; I don’t know what else to say you’re just PERFECT; you and I both know I am not perfect–don’t put that on me it’s too much pressure; But you are perfect, you’re perfect for me, so please don’t ever change; DON’T. call. me. perfect; blah blah blah blah blah FUNNY; blah blah blah blah SMART blah blah blah; what would i do without you blah blah blah; i’m so blessed to have you blah blah blah; blah blah blah TALENTED; you’re everything i’ve ever wanted; BLAH BLAH BLAH; you’d make the perfect trophy wife; HAHA just kidding, don’t get crazy; i’ve never felt this way; please don’t ever leave me; don’t give up on me; you CAN’T possibly expect me to be perfect?