Section 1 – The Importance and Origins of Interpersonal Communication

The origin of the word communication can be traced back to the Latin word communico, which is translated to mean “to join or unite,” “to connect,” “to participate in” or “to share with all.” This root
word is the same one from which we get not only the word communicate, but also common, commune, communion, and community. Thus, we can define communication as a process by which we share ideas or information with other people. We commonly think of communication as talking, but it is much broader than just speech. Other characteristics of voice communicate messages, and we communicate, as well, with eyes, facial expressions, hand gestures, body position, and movement. Let us examine some basic principles about how we communicate with one another.

Interpersonal communication, on the other hand, is the process of exchanging messages (information) between two or more individuals using both verbal and nonverbal cues. Interpersonal communication has been an integral part of human evolution. In the earlier times, while living in groups and communities, humans stood a better chance of survival by communicating (verbally and nonverbally) with each other and developing lasting interpersonal bonds. In the present times, the humans continue to develop such interpersonal relationships to survive, thrive, and communicate with each other. It is imperative to have a meaningful (meaning-making or shared meaning) conversation which makes sense (sense-making) to the sender (speaker of the message) and receiver (listener of the message). If the intended message is not understood (received) exactly as how it was intended, it can result in a lack of shared meaning (understanding), which can compromise the objective of the communication.

In communicative interactions, the goal is usually to create shared meaning. Shared meaning is achieved when the receiver attaches a similar meaning to the message that the sender meant to convey. In other words, shared meaning occurs when what was intended by one was similarly interpreted by the other, and/or what was interpreted by one was what was intended by the other. For example, let’s say we were at a bar and winked at someone to express interest in them. If they likewise interpreted our wink as interest, then shared meaning has been created. However, if they interpret our wink as an eye twitch, then shared meaning has not occurred. As we know from our experiences, shared meaning is not always achieved in interactions or may require additional clarification. That is because the various factors, or context, surrounding our messages can influence how those messages are produced, interpreted, and coordination. There are four main types of contexts to take into consideration in interpersonal interactions – physical, relational, individual, and cultural. Most people think they are great communicators. However, very few people are “naturally” good at it. Communication takes time, skill, and practice. To be a great communicator, you must also be a great listener. It requires some proficiency and competence. Think about someone you know that is not a good communicator. Why is that person not good? Do they say things that are inappropriate, rude, or hostile?

What is the need for learning about communication, especially interpersonal communication. We need to study communication for a variety of reasons. First, it gives us a new perspective on
something we take for granted every day. As stated earlier, most people think they are excellent communicators. However, most people never ask another person if they are great communicators.
Besides being in a public speaking class or listening to your friends’ opinions, you probably do not get a lot of feedback on the quality of your communication. In this book, we will learn all about
communication from different perspectives. You won’t be able to see the impact of your communication behaviors, if you don’t focus on certain communication aspects. The second reason we study communication is based on the quantity of our time that is devoted to that activity. Think about your daily routine; I am sure that it involves communicating with others (via face-to-face, texting, electronic media, etc.). Because we spend so much of our time communicating with others, we should make that time worthwhile. We need to learn how to communicate and communicate better because a large amount of our time is allotted to communicating with others. The last reason why we study communication is to increase our effectiveness. Marriages and relationships often fail for several reasons. The most popular reason is that people don’t know how to communicate with each other, which leads to irreconcilable differences. People often do not know how to work through problems, and it creates anger, hostility, and possibly violence. In these cases, communication needs to be effective for the relationship to work and be satisfying. Think about all the relationships that you have with friends, family, coworkers, and significant others. This course could possibly make you more successful in those relationships. Think for a minute of all the problematic communication behaviors that you have experienced in your life – personally, or professionally. You will probably notice that there are areas that could use improvement. In this book, we will learn about better ways to communicate in interpersonal relationships.