Section 3 – Intimate Relationships
Growing up, Marco and Denise were really close siblings, with Marco being about two years younger. They used to do everything together–go to the playground, co-ed sporting activities, and participating in their church’s choir. However, when Denise reached high school, their relationship started to change. Denise got a boyfriend and started spending more time with him than Marco. Thus, Marco started making his own friends through a local game shop. He couldn’t drive yet, so he was reliant on his parents to take him to and from the shop. Although Marco and Denise were still cordial, they didn’t have the same relationship from when they were younger.
Fast-forward about ten years, and Marco and Denise find out their parents are getting a divorce. Although the children are out of the house at this time, it is still stressful for them. They begin to reconnect and rebuild their relationship. Although it isn’t the exact same as when they were kids, Marco and Denise feel close in their relationship once again. Things still aren’t easy for them as they manage this new family dynamic, but the two now have each other to rely on for support.
Through this story, we described several types of relationships: siblings, parents, friends, and romantic partners. Each of these relationships in this story would be what we consider an intimate relationship. What is an “intimate relationship?” Although we may associate the word “intimate” or “intimacy” with a romantic partner or sexual activity in popular culture, interpersonal communication (and most social scientific scholars) define intimacy as the feeling of being emotionally or psychologically connected with another personal (Dillow, 2023). Throughout this final section of this textbook, we will explore various dynamics of intimate relationships considering the following: romantic relationships, family relationships, and social support networks. We then conclude the this section and the text with an introduction to the dark side of interpersonal communication.
In Chapter 9, we discuss romantic relationships. While a relationship can be defined as the expectations that two people have for each other based on their previous pattern of interactions (Littlejohn & Foss, 2008), a romantic relationship occurs when people act on sexual attraction to one another and/or form a mutual emotional romantic attachment. Thus, to effectively explore interpersonal communication concerning romantic relationships, Chapter 9 explores how to define and distinguish romantic relationships from other relationships, relationship development, maintenance, and dissolution, and romantic relationships and social network management. The insights from this chapter will provide us with the ability to better define and understand the various aspects of interpersonal relationships we encounter through our lives.
Next, we discuss family relationships in Chapter 10. Family is ubiquitous, meaning that we can confidently say that all people experience family in some way, shape, or form. As we explore in this chapter, family and family communication are not easily defined terms, so we discuss various lenses through which to view family. Additionally, we explore a couple of key theories–namely family communication patterns theory and family systems theory–that allow us to have a more nuanced understanding of how families may function and interact with one another. After reading this chapter, we will come away with a more wholistic understanding of what makes a family and how to “do” or “be” a family.
Third, in Chapter 11, we’ll turn to exploring another supportive relationship: friends. Throughout this chapter, we will explore various aspects of friendship, defined as voluntary interpersonal relationships between two people who are usually equals and who mutually influence on another (Rawlins, 1992). In doing so, we will discuss types of friends, friendship across the lifespan, peers and co-workers, social support, and social networking. Once we have read this chapter, we will have a more thorough understanding of friends and other supportive relationships and the various ways they influence our interpersonal communication and interpersonal lives.
We conclude our text and this section with Chapter 12, which introduces the dark side of interpersonal communication. We conclude with this chapter because this topic allows for us to consider the ethical gray areas of our interpersonal communication behaviors. We address ideas such as: is intimacy always good? Is lying always bad? How can we handle gaslighting? How can we manage jealousy? It is our hope that, at the conclusion of this text, our students walk away with the ability to more thoughtfully reflect on both their own and society’s practices concerning interpersonal communication.
Thus, let’s begin our discussion of intimate relationships by first exploring romantic relationships.
References:
Dillow, M. R. (2023). An introduction to the dark side of interpersonal communication. Cognella.
Littlejohn, S.W. & Foss, K.A. (2008). Theories of human communication (9th ed). Thomson Wadsworth.
Rawlins, W. K. (1992). Friendship matters: communication, dialectics, and the life course. Routledge.
