Inventory Waste: If I Had a Million Items
Sung to the tune of “If I had a million dollars” by The Barenaked Ladies
If I had a million items
If I had a million items
Well, it wouldn’t fit in my house
it wouldn’t fit in my house
And if I had a million items
If I had a million items
I’d build extra storage for your house
Maybe a nice cupboard or a shelf
And if I had a million items
If I had a million items
Well, maybe I could use a Kanban
A nice reliant signaling device
And if I had a million items
I’d couldn’t buy your love…….
If I had a million items
It’d take forever to get things through your yard
If I had a million items
You could expedite, it wouldn’t be that hard
If I had a million items
Maybe we can put like a little tiny EOQ in there somewhere
You know, we could just calculate safety stock
Like determine the variance of demand
And there would already be items laid out for us
Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things, mm
They have pre-wrapped sausages, but they don’t have pre-wrapped bacon
Well, can you blame them?
Uh, yeah?
If I had a million items
If I had a million items
Well, I’d have to ship it on a big boat,
But not a real big boat, that’s cruel
And if I had a million items
If I had a million items
Well, I couldn’t even buy lunch I bet
Yep, like a student or a bum
And if I had a million items
If I had a million items
Well, my work in progress would cause me pains
Ooh, all them crazy Little’s Law’s bones
And if I had a million items
I’d couldn’t buy your love…….
If I had a million items
We couldn’t even walk to the store
If I had a million items
No, we wouldn’t even make payroll
If I had a million items
We would have to hire Tim Woods
But we wouldn’t hire Tim Woods
Of course we wouldn’t, we’d just buy more
And buy some really expensive ketchups
That’s right, all the fanciest-, Dijon ketchup, mm, mm
If I had a million items
If I had a million items
Well, I’d couldn’t find stuff in your mess
Yeah a real big mess, that’s cruel
And if I had a million items
If I had a million items
Well, everything might fall apart
Like Picasso or a Garfunkel
If I had a million items
If I had a million items
Well, people would call your business monkey
Haven’t you always wanted a monkey?
If I had a million items
I’d couldn’t buy your love
If I had a million items
If I had a million items
If I had a million items
If I had a million items
If I had a million items
I’d be broke