Vague topic sentence: “First, we need a better way to educate students.”

Explanation: The claim is vague because it does not provide enough information about what will follow, and it is too broad to be covered effectively in one paragraph.

Revised version: “Creating a national set of standards for math and English education will improve student learning in many states.”

Explanation: The sentence replaces the vague phrase “a better way” and leads readers to expect supporting facts and examples as to why standardizing education in these subjects might improve student learning in many states.

Confusing topic sentence: “In general, writing an essay, thesis, or other academic or nonacademic document is considerably easier and of much higher quality if you first construct an outline, of which there are many different types.”

Explanation: The convoluted sentence structure and unnecessary vocabulary bury the main idea, making it difficult for the reader to follow the topic sentence.

Revised version: Most forms of writing can be improved by first creating an outline.

Explanation: This topic sentence cuts out unnecessary words and simplifies the previous statement, making it easier for the reader to follow. The writer can include examples of what kinds of writing can benefit from outlining in the supporting sentences.

After reading the new TV guide this week I wondered why we are still being bombarded with reality shows, a plague that continues to darken our airwaves. Along with the return of viewer favorites, we are to be cursed with yet another mindless creation. Prisoner follows the daily lives of eight suburban housewives who have chosen to be put in jail for the purposes of this fake psychological experiment. A preview for the first episode shows the usual tears and tantrums associated with reality television. I dread to think what producers will come up with next season and hope that other viewers will express their criticism. These producers must stop the constant stream of meaningless shows without plotlines. We’ve had enough reality television to last us a lifetime!

Last year, a cat traveled 130 miles to reach its family, who had moved to another state and had left their pet behind. Even though it had never been to their new home, the cat was able to track down its former owners. A dog in my neighborhood can predict when its master is about to have a seizure. It makes sure that he does not hurt himself during an epileptic fit. Compared to many animals, our own senses are almost dull.

For many years, I suffered from severe anxiety every time I took an exam. Hours before the exam, my heart would begin pounding, my legs would shake, and sometimes I would become physically unable to move. Last year, I was referred to a specialist and finally found a way to control my anxiety—breathing exercises. It seems so simple, but by doing just a few breathing exercises a couple of hours before an exam, I gradually got my anxiety under control. The exercises help slow my heart rate and make me feel less anxious. Better yet, they require no pills, no equipment, and very little time. It’s amazing how just breathing correctly has helped me learn to manage my anxiety symptoms.

Paragraph 1: King Kong, a fictional, ape-like monster made his first debut in Hollywood in 1933 with RKO pictures. The first showing premiered at two movie theaters, the Radio City Music Hall and the RKO Roxy Theatre. Despite the fact that the movie was released during the Great Depression, it drew thousands of viewers for 35 to 75 cents per ticket. The movie combined adventure, romance, and special effects in a way that hadn’t been attempted before. And the heroine Ann Darrow’s (Fay Wray) thin, feminine frame drew a stark contrast with King Kong, a colossal beast.  According to, “Fay Wray’s scream as the captive beauty facing Kong’s towering obsession became an indelible piece of film history.” Despite the economy, the movie made $100,000 the first weekend, finally grossing millions, which saved RKO pictures from bankruptcy. Type your textbox content here.

Paragraph 2: The movie begins with the exploits of film crew who voyage to Skull Island, where they come head to head with the roaring Kong, a name given to the enormous ape by the natives of the fictional island, purportedly located in the Indian Ocean. But Kong is not the only unusually sized animal. Enormous fauna are a unique characteristic of the island, and the native inhabitants have built a village within a 70 foot wall, where they worship Kong from a distance. Skull Island is also the home of plesiosaurs, pterosaurs, and various dinosaurs.

Paragraph 3: The American film crew, led by character, Carl Denham, captures Kong and takes him to New York City to be exhibited as the “Eighth Wonder of the World.” Kong escapes and climbs the Empire State Building, only to fall from the skyscraper after being attacked by weaponized biplanes. Denham comments, “It wasn’t the aeroplanes, it was beauty killed the beast,” because he climbs the building in the first place in an attempt to protect Ann Darrow, an actress originally kidnapped by the natives of the island and offered up to Kong as a sacrifice.

Paragraph 4: The King Kong character was conceived and created by American filmmaker Merian C. Cooper. He became fascinated by gorillas at the age of six. In 1899, Cooper was given a book from his uncle called Explorations and Adventures in Equatorial Africa. The book, written in 1861, chronicled the adventures of Paul Du Chaillu in Africa and his various encounters with the natives and wildlife there. Cooper became fascinated with the stories involving the gorillas, in particular, a gorilla known for its “extraordinary size,” that the natives described as “invincible” and the “King of the African Forest.”. The book described the gorilla as a “hellish dream creature” that was “half man, half beast”.Type your textbox content here.

Paragraph 5: As an adult, Cooper became involved in the motion picture industry. While filming The Four Feathers in Africa, he came into contact with a family of baboons. This gave him the idea to make a picture about primates, which gradually evolved into the idea of a “terror gorilla” movie. When developing storyline, Cooper decided to make his gorilla giant-sized. Cooper stated that the idea of Kong fighting warplanes on top of a building came from him seeing a plane flying over the New York Insurance Building, then the tallest building in the world. He came up with the ending before the rest of the story: “I immediately saw in my mind’s eye a giant gorilla on top of the building.”  Cooper also was influenced by accounts of Komodo dragons in Indonesia and imagined battles between his mega-gorilla and dinosaur-sized reptiles. Whether King Kong was battling enormous lizards or the U.S. army, he would be the main character of the films, which would focus on the theme of “a gigantic semi-humanoid gorilla pitted against modern civilization.”

Paragraph 6: When designing King Kong, Cooper wanted him to be a nightmarish gorilla monster. As he described Kong in a 1930 memo: “His hands and feet have the size and strength of steam shovels; his girth is that of a steam boiler. This is a monster with the strength of a hundred men. But more terrifying is the head—a nightmare head with bloodshot eyes and jagged teeth set under a thick mat of hair, a face half-beast half-human.”

Paragraph 7: Motion picture special effects artist, Willis O’Brien, created the first version of King Kong. The oil painting depicted the giant gorilla threatening a jungle heroine and a hunter. When the sculptor, Marcel Delgado, started working on the animation model, O’Brien told him to “make that ape almost human.” He wanted King Kong to be almost human-like to gain audience empathy. Cooper laughed at the end result, saying that it looked like a cross between a monkey and a man with very long hair. For the second model, O’Brien again asked Delgado to add human features but to tone it down somewhat, which was described as looking like a missing link. Disappointed, Cooper stated, “I want Kong to be the fiercest, most brutal, monstrous damned thing that has ever been seen!”

Paragraph 8: On December 22, 1931, Cooper obtained the dimensions of a bull gorilla from the American Museum of Natural History, telling O’Brien, “Now that’s what I want!” When the final model was created, it had the basic look of a gorilla but managed to retain some human-like qualities. For example, Delgado streamlined the body by removing the distinctive paunch and rump of a gorilla. When it came time to film, Cooper agreed that Kong should walk upright at times (mostly in the New York sequences) to appear more intimidating. ^[2]